Drowning without water

Here's a song about being lonely. I write it all down to remember. Someday this will pass. Someday it will be a memory.

I can't go more than a few hours without crying for relief. It's a suffocating feeling; Drowning without water.

I could write about love past. Something that didn't last. I could tell you all about that girl with the green eyes. About her subtle strength. About her obvious beauty. I gave her a part of myself. I don't know if I'll ever get it back.

I could write about love yet to come. I will never take it for granted. I will never fight about inconsequential things. I will never be selfish. I will never be stubborn. I will never have to apologize because I will never betray my love. I will always love her like Christ loves His church. I will be flawless.

I could write about this moment. Reclining with the girl that's been with me my entire adult life: my faithful dog Lily. She knows when something's wrong. She comes over to comfort me when I hurt. She's happy just to be in the same room as me. But she can't ask me about my day. She can't give me a hug and make it all better. She can't be my love.

To the one I've yet to meet. Or the one I've yet to realize. Or the one who has yet to find me. I promise to give you fully of myself. I will hold nothing back. My heart is my gift to you. It comes to you in used condition. There are a few scars and footprints that have rendered it bigger and stronger. To you my princess, I promise to give you my life. I promise to seek Christ with you forever and always.

I know you're out there. Don't give up looking for me. I'm out there too. We will find each other!

Magnetic

You texted me out of the blue. It was about something inconsequential. I was in the middle of dinner and having a conversation about our pretty waitress. I don't remember the rest of my meal because after your text my mind and heart focused on you. I don't think you can hear me. But your timing is curious.

I'm laying in bed at 11:00 on Saturday morning. It's been at least half a year since we've had any meaningful contact. Yet still my heart waits for you. I cannot seem to control it. I'm not stupid. I know I'll probably never get a chance to see our dreams lived out. I continue to seek God's direction for me. But through it all not one thing has changed. I long to be with you every day. Not a day goes by where I don't wonder what you're up to and how the kids are doing. We must be polar opposites because no matter where I am or what I'm doing, my heart pulls me back to you. It's a magnetic force that I'm thus far unable to overcome.

I don't understand why this is still going on. The pain from my failed marriage didn't even last this long. There are reminders of you everywhere but I don't need them because you're never far from my mind.

I need you to come find me. Walk with me. The path we travel will lead one of two directions. I need to know which one.

Circles

Why did you leave me? Why did you run away? I don't understand. You needed time alone? Why would you abandon that to be with someone else? Can't you see that you are going in circles?

Cantina Doodle

I hid it away to always remember: The excitement and anticipation of our first roadtrip. A quick detour for a breakfast sandwich. Coffee. Egg... Dense fog. A letter to never be sent. Cauldron of anger. Conditional love. Then unbelievable beauty in a blue dress. Silly glasses and a humorous apron. Books with ridiculous phrases about love. Enchiladas and daiquiris at the Cantina.

An innocent doodle with a black crayon.

It makes an appearance occasionally. David <3 G.

I miss that girl in the blue dress. I miss an unlimited future with Ojos Verdes. I miss her two beautiful boys. Cars rolled across the kitchen floor. A plastic Transformers ring. Aquaman. Missing shoes. The sound of the aquarium in the night. Chicken nuggets, sliced apples, cheese sticks, grapes, and watered down apple juice. Joe-joes... I miss her smile. Her smell. The warmth of her embrace two steps from the bottom of the stairs. I even miss the crisp pre-sunrise morning air as I walk to my car after 3 hours of sleep. I miss our deep conversations. Her amazing soul. I miss my pretty pretty pretty princess.

Come find me baby. Let's finish what we started.