You fucking lied?

Well, you did it. You finally managed to make me angry. All it took was one good lie. I understand why you thought that was an option. But you had another option. A better one. You chose to lie instead. All I ever asked of you was honesty. From the moment I met you I was understanding and supportive of you. Why did you risk compromising my trust? It wasn't necessary. And you did it for something insignificant. Did my uncompromised trust not factor in your decision? Did you deliberately choose yourself over me? Did I not matter at all?

Why G? Now I'm left with the unavoidable question of whether this is a lifestyle for you or a one time mistake. I get to question whether I truly know you at all. Hell, you told me you can look your parents straight in the face and lie. Why should I be any different? Maybe I was just an object filling a void in your life and you knowingly used me. Who is this pretty girl I thought I knew so well? Who is this girl I fell in love with? Does she really exist or is she just an imagination? In my experience this was out of character for you. But now I fear my experience isn't reality. Maybe now I don't have to let you go; maybe now I want to.

You meet my "I love you" with "I love you too". Do you honestly mean that? Think about it. I mean it every time I say it. And I have repeatedly shown you the truth of that statement.

Maybe you do love me and just made one mistake. I'll probably never know because I can't talk to you. I have no choice but to let you suffer alone from the pain and injustice caused you by J. I hate that. If you truly love me and I love you then neither of us should have to suffer alone. But these are the cards we've been dealt. So I'll talk to Jesus. And you talk to Jesus. And maybe He'll somehow make everything okay in the end.