For Better or Worse

I just came across this poem I wrote April 10, 2008, as my wife was preparing to leave for good and file for divorce. For anyone wondering, she did not stay. She ended up choosing herself over her child and her husband.


For Better or Worse

Alone in my house I sit and cry,
Wondering what happened, I wait, I die.

You promised to love me for better or worse,
Now you live your life like that is a curse.

You said you loved me, your actions defy
The logic you use proves it all a lie.

So walk away, go on walk away;
Prove that you’re weak, too weak to stay.

Find your green on the other side.
When you come back you’ll see I died.

Innocence came and took our youth.
But he gave us purpose and that’s the truth.

I haven’t been perfect but I grow every day,
My past mistakes I’ve tried to repay.

To go back in time and make it all better,
I’d give everything away and be your debtor.

I love you more now than ever before,
But don’t think for a second it’s ‘cause your foot’s out the door.

I’ve done nothing but try to love you better,
While all you’ve done is earn a scarlet letter.

You adulterous fuck, let me be blunt:
Your mind means more to me than a dick in your cunt.

Does any of this make you happy?
You’re to blame for making our lives crappy.

More than anything in this world I want your love,
The very same love I deprived you of.

I’m sorry for taking you for granted, being selfish and young;
For being immature and the insults I flung.

But that doesn’t make it right to do what you’re doing,
Karma’s a bitch and it’s what you’re accruing.

I won’t share you, I WILL NOT DO IT!
Make him go away so we can get back to it.

You know there’s no other choice if you’re going to stay.
Cut off all contact, it’s the only way.

Let’s start fixing things one step at a time.
I’ll start it all off with this simple rhyme.